pairing: harry/louis, louis/eleanor (friendship)
summary: louis now knows how harry feels most of the time.
disclaimer: the boys are not my playthings and idk if this happened but if it did i still don't claim the rights to the boys' lives.
Louis kicked the curb outside of the building, frustrated with what he had just woken up to. He knew that it had to happen, but he couldn’t help that it felt weird. He couldn’t help that he wanted to punch everyone who had concocted this stupid plan. And he kind of wanted to punch himself, because now he knew how Harry felt most of the time.
He turned around to find Eleanor standing there, all ready in her outer gear. He tried to smile, but he felt like he’d be sick if he tried too hard. “Hey.”
She’d had a trace of a smile on her face, but it faded when she noticed Louis’s mood. “You saw the pictures.”
Louis nodded. “And it fucking sucks.”
Eleanor took his arm. “Louis, you agreed to it. You tried to drink it all away last night. I guess it didn’t really work.”
“Why did they have to choose Taylor Swift?” Louis pressed. “They could have chosen a university student, like you. One of your friends, maybe?”
“Lou, I would never subject one of my friends to this.” Eleanor said, shaking her head. “I really care about you, but getting so much hate for something that, you know... isn’t really a thing... I could never let that happen. Taylor’s used to this stuff because she’s a celebrity. No one would believe Harry chose some random, regular girl anyway.”
Louis felt too tired and dizzy to argue. There was no time anyway. They had pictures to pose for.
Later, Louis looked on his phone but he wished he hadn’t. The holding hands pictures weren’t enough. There had to be pictures of Harry doing a walk of shame from Taylor’s hotel. His stomach twisted, but he managed to hide it. He put his phone away and sighed. He didn’t have time to care. They had fans to meet and a gig to do.
When Louis saw Harry, it was in passing. Their eyes met briefly as Louis was ushered toward a group of fans. Harry tried to wave, but he couldn’t manage much without people noticing. And their fans noticed everything.
Someday, Louis thought. Someday he was going to say fuck it to the rules and out him and Harry in a big way. But until then, things would be like this.
They finally got a moment alone back at their hotel later. Louis couldn’t take it anymore. He made sure the halls were clear of fans, and then sprinted to Harry’s room, knocking on the door.
When Harry opened the door and saw it was him, his eyes lit up. But he was careful. He waited until Louis was in the room with the door locked to do anything.
First, Harry just hugged him. Louis sighed into Harry’s neck. Everything about Harry was so comforting and familiar to him. Louis knew he was the one who had to outwardly be strong, take on the brunt of everything. He was the one with the steady girlfriend and the one who supposedly hated the gay rumors. But right now he could just let himself feel. And what he felt was sadness.
“Love you.” Harry murmured quietly.
Louis pulled back. “I didn’t hear from you for a long time last night. You... stayed at her hotel?”
Harry stared into Louis’s eyes intensely, as he always did. “You can’t think I stayed in her room. Louis... I wouldn’t do that to you. I stayed across the hall from her, just in case anyone saw us, but I was alone. I thought about you all night. I tried to text you, but...”
“Yeah. I was pissed.” Louis admitted. It had been clear from the pictures. “More than I should have been. I was sick everywhere in the bathroom.”
Harry’s eyes widened. Sure, they’d both drunk so much they’d been sick before, but never because of their relationship. He kissed Louis lightly on the lips.
“How long do we have?” Louis asked.
Harry gestured to his clock. “An hour, hour and a half? At least before anyone gets suspicious.”
“Long enough.” Louis launched himself at Harry, kissing him hard. He didn’t intend to waste any time.
Afterward, they lay together, just touching each other as much as possible. Louis ran his hands along Harry’s arms and chest. Harry kept his hands on Louis’s bum and waist.
“I love the boys, but we should leave the band.” Louis said. It was an empty suggestion. He would never leave Niall, Zayn, and Liam. Not after everything they had done to protect them and their relationship.
“No, we should leave the world.” Harry chuckled.
“Together though, yeah.” Louis nodded, resting his head on Harry’s chest. He admired his bird tattoos. They made him smile. He would take genuine smiles when he could get them now. When he had tried out for the X Factor, he hadn’t foreseen this. He hadn’t known he liked guys. He hadn’t known Harry. In a way, meeting Harry and the boys was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to him.
“Last night was amazing.” Harry commented. Louis looked at him. “The show, I mean.”
Last night had been the craziest, but also the best, show Never, in a million years, had Louis thought he’d perform at an arena like Madison Square Garden. And they were going to perform there again in a few days.
“Someday,” Louis said. “It’ll be much different. I’ll be able to kiss you during ‘Kiss You.’”
“And touch your arse during ‘Little Things.’” Harry nudged him.
“And rock you during ‘Rock Me.’” Louis kissed Harry on the cheek. “If we actually perform that.”
Things were blissfully quiet for a few minutes. Louis missed feeling this peaceful.
“When I came to your room, I wasn’t sure if I could do this anymore.” Louis admitted. He expected Harry to look shocked and appalled, but instead he nodded solemnly. “But I love you. It’s worth it, even if we have to walk around with Eleanor and Taylor once in awhile. It’s worth it for these moments.”
“Moment! In time! I’ll find the words to say!” Harry began singing.
Louis rolled his eyes and tackled the person he loved the most.